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FINDING MY WAY BACK HOME

Sunday, November 27, 2016


It's been a while since my last post. I took a much-needed hiatus to get my head and heart together. In all honesty, I was really just hiding from what God was telling me to do. Filling my days with endless irrelevant distractions to eradicate the whispers, "Write. Write. You need to be writing." I even went and got a new job to distract myself even further. But here I am, with a new look and a new focus on the content of this sacred space.

In the time I've spent away I regained a new perspective and clarity about the different events that have taken place in my life, the biggest of them being my divorce. This new perspective and clarity derived out of the many days I spent sitting in the presence of my Savior. In that time I found some healing and comfort, but most importantly I found a new definition for a life worth living.

I found the answers my heart was searching for in a quote from a sermon by one of my Pastor's. The quote says this:

"The garden of your ideal life is littered with disappointments.” – John Onwuchekwa

When I began January Blossoms my goal was to inspire and encourage women to reach their highest potential, to bloom into the fullest expression of themselves. But my idea and God's idea were two different things. What I believe God has in mind for the purpose and mission of January Blossoms has nothing to do with reaching the greatest expression of yourself but to realize that a life with God at the center of it is the only life worth living. 1 Timothy 4:7-10 says this: 

"Have nothing to do with irreverent, silly myths. Rather train yourself for godliness; for while bodily training is of some value, godliness is of value in every way, as it holds promise for the present life and also for the life to come. The saying is trustworthy and deserving of full acceptance. For to this end we toil and strive, because we have our hope set on the living God, who is the Savior of all people, especially of those who believe."

Reaching your highest potential is great but if in the end you still aren't in right relationship with God, what purpose will striving toward growth serve? My previous ideal life, the picture I had painted in my mind that said this is what will make me happy had nothing at all to do with my relationship with God. It had more to do with my marriage working, making a certain salary, and acquiring a home for my family. My life has been drastically shaken up for over six years now and it's taken me a long time to realize that God has been trying to get my attention.

Every day we go out into the world and become distracted by all of our human duties and God spends all day trying to pull us out of the haze and bring us back into His presence. I was watching the movie Finding Dory earlier with my daughter, and God spoke to me. 

In the movie, Dory suffers from short-term memory loss. Because Dory suffers from short-term memory loss her parents spend a lot of time training her in case she ever gets lost. Her parents train her by placing a trail of seashells to point her in the right direction and ultimately guide her home. God does the same thing for us. Throughout our everyday lives, He leaves a trail of seashells that will help us find our way back home, back to His presence. Sometimes those seashells look like spilled coffee on your shirt, sometimes they look like a failed job opportunity and sometimes they may even resemble a failed marriage.

What does a life centered around God truly look like? Is it even possible to do such a thing? These are the questions I hope my blog will answer. These are the questions that have been and will be at the forefront of my mind as my feet meet the floor when I awake every morning. 

"Father show me how to make You the center of my joy."
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